Career aspirations

For many months we have been witness to Liz's dizzying attempts to find a new job. We've been on interviews, traveled to the Adirondacks, and kept her toes toasty as she drowned her job searching misery in countless pints of ice cream. Today, we had a revelation - we must guide her (we are attached to her feet, after all) towards a new career path. One that will be beneficial not only to her but to us as well. But what career would suit all of our collective needs? And then it came to us - a memory of something we saw while relaxing in the car outside of Red Lobster a few weeks ago...

It's genius!!! The continental school of beauty culture! We can't believe we didn't think of it before. Not only would attendance at the school help solve Liz's employment issues, but it would also make her more aesthetically appealing to the opposite sex. As to helping us? It's a no brainer - PEDICURES. Not only would we be happier wrapping ourselves around manicured toes, but also we would undoubtedly live longer thanks to the alleviation of such blights as rough heels and too-long toenails.

Sadly, we are no fools. We have been with Liz long enough to know that the odds of getting her to even approach such a place are slim to none. A sock (or two) can dream...